Was Kasper Out?

Hard done by? ... Steve Harmison's delivery appears to strike Michael Kasprowicz's right hand, not attached to the bat.
It may go down as one of the greatest Test matches ever played but television replays appear to show Michael Kasprowicz was given out incorrectly.

The Australian tailender was deemed out after a Steve Harmison delivery clipped his right glove and flew into wicketkeeper Geraint Jones's waiting hands - sparking a frenzy of delight among English players and fans.

But if there is any consolation for the dispirited Australian team - and millions of their supporters - it is that freeze-frame footage seems to indicate umpire Billy Bowden should not have given the dogged Kasprowicz out.

Slow motion replays appear to reveal that the No. 11's right hand was not in contact with his bat at the precise moment the ball brushed against it.

Cricket rules state that a glove can only be considered part of the bat when contact is made "between the ball and any part of a glove worn on the striker's hand holding the bat".

Australia needed just three runs for victory - and only two for a tie - when Bowden's raised finger ended their chances.

Tailenders Shane Warne (42), Brett Lee (43) and Kasprowicz (20) had already piled on 104 runs and brought their team to within a whisker of winning Had Kasprowicz been given not out, would Australia have pulled off the most remarkable of victories?

We will never know.

Billy Bowden's decision might be reviewed by the International Cricket Council but it would not alter the outcome of the match, ICC spokesman Brendan McClements said.

"The umpire has made his decision. The fact is Kasper's out. The game's finished,"

The ball that will haunt Kasper!

Michael Kasprowicz has already played it over in his mind a thousand times, and on Sunday admitted the Steve Harmison delivery that brushed his glove to hand England the series-levelling second Test by an agonising two runs would haunt him for the rest of his life.

Kasprowicz and Brett Lee nervelessly carried Australia to within a breath of a famous victory. The ball reared up into his glove and was brilliantly caught by much-maligned wicketkeeper Geraint Jones.

"I will leave [here] with the most vivid delivery that I will replay over in my mind for the rest of my life," Kasprowicz said. "Afterwards there is maybe a sense of pride, but initially there is disappointment to get that close.

"In a lot of ways it's cruel to get that close and to just miss out in the end."
Australian captain Ricky Ponting expressed pride rather than emptiness after watching his tailenders' exploits almost snatch victory.

It was the closest winning margin in Ashes history and the second-closest in Test history as the last three batsmen put on 104 before Kasprowicz fell, sparking wild celebrations among the England players, who moments earlier had seemed on the brink of a morale-sapping defeat.

"I'd rather flatten them [achieve an easy win over England]. Then at least I'd have some fingernails left," Ponting said. "It's probably the most nerve-racking end to a Test I have ever played in. It's right up there with any game I have ever played in.
"[But] I don't feel shattered at the moment. I actually feel pretty proud of the way we've played over the last couple of days. There are probably a couple of batters in there, Kasper and Brett, who feel quite shattered at the moment.

"Standing in front of guys bowling 150 kilometres an hour and combating it the way they did this morning I thought was outstanding.

"I was disappointed, when you see that one balloon off the glove and the game is taken away from you, if you like. But we can take a lot out of this game, especially after what's happened over the last two days. Hopefully that can spur us on to playing some better cricket in the third Test."

Darryl Harper on David Shepherd

Fellow umpire Daryl Harper has posted his thoughts on the recently-retired David Shepherd, including this gem:

In August 2000 at The Oval, Courtney Walsh walked out to bat for the final time in a Test match on English soil. He was greeted with a guard of honour from his opponents as he entered the ground in his customary batting position at number eleven. As I stood with Shep and applauded the champion, David recalled that Don Bradman had been given a similar send-off on the same ground, 52 years earlier in his final Test match. As I returned to my position at the bowler’s end, I passed the big West Indian whose eyes were flowing with tears of emotion. I quickly mentioned the Bradman link as Shep had recalled, adding that the Don had made a second ball duck! Courtney threw his head back and vowed to do better than that. The first ball from Domenic Cork passed outside off stump and Walsh flashed at it without getting close. The second delivery was pitched on off stump and Walsh pushed forward with his bat. The ball eluded the wood and cannoned into the front pad, somewhere near the knee roll. It wasn’t a tough decision for me…..Courtney Walsh had emulated Bradman in his final Test innings in England.

Am Back

Lasses and lads..tis been a while since ive posted anything .Hopefully will be a little more regular...A lot has happened since my last post. The natwest triangular was tied. Aus won the 3 match series and the first ashes test. England won the second. and the third test it tomorrow.

Natwest Update - Aus vs Bang

The Aussies got through the last league match against the bangers.Not a fully convincig win but they'll gladly take it none the same. The bowling is still a worry and for once Shane Watson came through. Gilly walked when he didnt hit the ball! a slower ball from Baishya hit the rough and looped to first slip. The bat hit the ground at the same time which mis-led the umps,us and Gilly himself.

The bangers showed some spit and guts to recover from a hopeless 77-5 to make 250.Lee rocked them with a couple of early wickets but then went for a few. Habibul Bashar the captain took Lee to the cleaners inlcuding an over where he took 16 of the Aussie quick.

It's an Aus v Eng final on Saturday.Hopefully it will be a glorious summer's day and we'll have an absolute corker of a game. May the best team win.

The Wimbledon ladies final will also be on at around the same time. Venus will be up against Davenport or Mauresmo, though it looks like the Big Californian will come through.

So here's to an all sport Saturday,where i will resume my love affair with my Bean bag and a few beers.

Cheers

Natwest Update Eng Vs Aus at Edgbaston - June 28

We had a cracker of a game in store last night , until the fickle english weather intervened , i had looked forward to the game pretty much through the week. It also was like a dress rehersal for the grand final on Sat.

The Aussie machine looks to be back on track though i think their problems with their 4th and 5th bowlers still persisit.Dizzy and Kaspa still look rusty and tired while Shane "Watto" Watson is a load of crap. You outta stop giving guys like KP lip service and get on with the game mate!

Leaves the aussies with 3 bowlers Mcgrath,Lee and Hogg. Dont think they can count on Simmo to pull another "Pfeifer" out the bag. Kp and co certainly ain't equal to the Bangers.

There was an incident with Haydos and Simon Jones and of course the rest of the Poms got involved as well. Ponting had to intervene. Let' see what the match ref has to say.

The aussies play Bangers tomorrow. It should be a walk in the park.Though the
lucky Ashraful might pull a rabbit out the hat again. While has batted well he
has been very very lucky. I guess "Fortune favors the brave".

Howz this for luck.

Game 1 vs the Aus. - Dizzy gillespie dropped him twice and they missed a runout - Result he smashed a 100 and took the bangers home.

Game 2 vs Eng - Harmison bowled him but the bails refused to dislodge.The result Ash finished with 94 from 52 including one over where he took 16 of Harmy.

Game 5 vs Aus - Hayden dropped him at slip. Then Dizzy caught him of a no-ball.
Ponting hit the stumps direct but the 3rd ump coudnt make a decision coz there was dust flying about that blurred the cam! - Ashraful made 57 and it took a blinder from Simmo to finally dismiss him!

Phew. But take nothing away from the pocket size dynamite he has played brilliantly right through this series. He desrves all the luck to say the least.

A prayer for scott

Scott?whats his name?

In the world of international cricket, where one day is like a life time,where the condition of Sachin Tendulkar's elbow sends an entire nation into a tizzy, spare a thought for Scott Robert Mason, the Tasmanian opening batsman, who died at the age of 28 of a heart failure. While it always seems a terrible waste when someone dies so early, you can't help feeling worse when it happens to a young cricketer with his best ahead of him.

So, as Peter Newlinds writes in his piece, on ABC Sport let us look beyond the obvious for just one moment.

... for those of us who watched him and who followed his career closely "Maso" won't be forgotten and his cruel, tragic death at the age of 28 will remind us that there are plenty of more important things than a man's career stats.

And, here's what colleague, captain and team-mate Jamie Cox had to say about him:

Just such a likeable guy, and an inspiration, and I guess you could say tragically but ironically he was one of the heartbeats of our team. There aren't enough words to say enough about this little mate, he was a beauty.

Why there’s an ‘I’ in Team India

The self comes before the team because that’s our way of life – Harsha Bhogle

It would be tempting, and egotistical, to ignore Mathew Hayden’s remark about players from the sub-continent being selfish. You could call it gamesmanship, and there will be a substantial element of that, but if it hurts there is probably some truth to it.
If he had said all Indian batsmen are bandits, we wouldn’t have read it a second time, we would have called it whimsical, even wild, it wouldn’t have hurt. This one does, and so it merits examination. Sometimes it helps to look beyond initial feelings of outrage!

It is my hypothesis that in over-populated, and therefore insecure, countries the self will always dominate. Feelings of comradeship, of surrendering the self to the wider cause, can only arise in either a highly spiritual phase or where the performer has ascended to a level of personal calm about his achievements.

Where you are in a mob, and we are in a mob, self-preservation will always prevail; whether it is catching a bus, or getting out of a movie hall or getting admission to a professional college.

So too with Indian cricket, where unless you are selfish you cannot make a mark. We have 27 first-class teams and it is impossible for anyone to monitor individual players. At one level lower, it is even worse. Young players learn very quickly that it is their score, and not the manner in which it was scored, or indeed the situation that warranted it, that counts more than anything else.

A 17-year-old is bound to feel tempted to stay 66 not out even if his team loses the match than try to blast a quick 35 which won’t look as impressive when the selectors compare scores. If there were fewer players to look at, a selector could make his own assessment but with the numbers in India that is often impossible. That is why I would go so far as to say that unless you are selfish you have no chance of making it in Indian cricket.

And it is not easy to change, leopards in every profession are stuck with their spots. Actors from folk theatre will remain loud even in serious cinema, batsmen growing up on bouncy tracks will instinctively play the horizontal bat shots, people from gloomy lands will look unhappy even in bright sunshine. Players from our part of the world cannot suddenly become team players when they have survived by protecting their interests fiercely. In times of crisis, you go back to your instincts.

When a team is performing, and therefore settled, and where individuals are secure, they can rise above the self and play for the cause. Indeed, playing for the cause then becomes a greater virtue and we have seen that aspect too in Indian cricket. In Australia they learn that early because there are fewer people playing the game; the difference between being in a side and not being in it is not nearly as pronounced as it is in India.

If Australia had 500 million people, let alone a billion, they would play like a nation of 500 million, they would guard the self before aspiring to enrich the team.
The way out is to have fewer teams playing at the highest level. Apart from intensifying competition, it means only the best can play and with that comfort behind them players can get noticed for putting the team first. 27 first class teams is a recipe for selfishness and poor quality. If we can still put out a fairly good international team, imagine what you could do with only 15 teams. Concentrated solutions are always more potent than diluted ones.

As a result we tend to applaud individual efforts even if the team has collectively been let down. The batting average is a batsman’s badge of honour, the number of centuries his entry to the hall of fame. Even his advertising contracts have bonuses linked to the number of runs he has scored, not whether his team wins.
We dance alone, not in an ensemble, we pray alone, not in a community. We cannot suddenly expect young, insecure sportsmen to become team players when most of us aren’t.

Small, focussed groups can be different if they breathe a different air. In India’s cricket team there are many who are willing to go beyond the self. Now it needs to become addictive, it needs to spread to selectors and administrators. October might be a good time to prove to Matthew Hayden that it can happen.

Classics from the masters of sledge

McGrath to Ramnaresh Sarwan:
"So what does Brian Lara's a*** taste like?"
Sarwan: "I don't know. Ask your wife."
McGrath (losing it): "If you ever effing mention my wife again, I'll
effing rip your effing throat out."


Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne:
As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had been
waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you
spent it all eating," Cullinan retorted.

Merv Hughes & Viv Richards:
During a test match in the West Indies,Hughes didn't say a word to
Viv, but continued to stare at him after deliveries. "This is my island,
my culture. Don't you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl."
Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman:
"In my culture we just say f**k *ff.".

Ian healy and Arjuna Ranatunga
And of course you can't forget Ian Healy's legendary comment which was picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when Arjuna Ranatunga called for a runner on a particularly hot night during a one dayer in Sydney...
"You don't get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat c**t!!!"

Mark Waugh and Adam Parore
Mark Waugh standing at second slip, the new player Adam Parore to the crease playing &missing the first ball.
Mark - "Ohh, I remember you from a couple years ago in Australia. You were shit then, you're fucking useless now".
Parore- (Turningaround) "Yeah, that's me & when I was there you were going out with that old, ugly slut & now I hear you've married her. You dumb ****".

Glenn McGrath & Eddo Brandes
McGrath was bowling to the Zimb number11- who was unable to get
his bat anywhere near the ball. McGrath, frustrated that Brandes was
still at the crease, wandered up during one particular over and inquired:
"Why are you so fat?" Quick as a flash, Brandes replied:"Because every
time I make love to your wife, she gives me a biscuit."Even the Aussie
slip fielders were in hysterics.

Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad in the 1991 Adelaide Test against Pakistan.
Hughes was less than impressed when Javed called him a "fat bus
conductor" as the pair squared up to one another. A few balls later,Hughes got his man and as Javed walked past, could not resist shouting "Tickets,please!"

Steve Waugh and Parthiv Patel.
Steve Waugh...Last Test...comes up to bat...
Parthiv-"so this is your last test...show us some of that famous sledging of yours."
Steve-"Respect Me...For when i made my test debut You were still in your nappies"

Ian Healy and Ben Hollioake
A classic from the master of sledging,Ian Healy: Ben Hollioake had
just made his debut, hitting Glenn McGrath in the
process. On his way back after finally being dismissed, Shane Warne
cried: 'Hey, Ben' Hollioake turned round expecting a pat on the back.
Instead Healy came in from behind and said: 'Get back to the nets,you idiot.'

This is the one and only javed miandad vs dilip doshi...javed bhai at
the crease, doshi bowling...the players' hotel was quite near the
stadium...
javed: "arre doshi apna room number to bataa"
nothing from doshi
next ball, javed asks again...still nothing when the over ends..."arre
ab to over khatam ho gaya, ab to bataa de" doshi finally relents.."216"
(or watever) "agle over mein ball wahin maaroonga"

Merv Hughes to his bunny Hick: After softening him up with some bouncers, he said "so what does your husband do when he is not watching you play cricket?" Sure enough, Hick was out the next ball.

"Arjuna, he's probably slotting himself around at 150 kilos at the moment, is he? Swallowed a sheep or something like that." - Shane Warne hits back at his old foe Arjuna Ranatunga (Feb 2004)

It is better to swallow a sheep or a goat than swallow what he has been swallowing." - Arjuna Ranatunga's saucy response to Shane Warne's "swallowed a sheep" jibe

If you are the captain, you have to lead by the front. You can't just do it by mouthing rubbish. You have to be aggressive with the bat." - Bishen Bedi on Sourav ‘Dada’ Ganguly

Next time some idiot mentions the NatWest Trophy run chase, do yourself a favour. Catch the offender by the throat and squeeze firmly till he turns India-blue in the face. Let go only once he chokes out an apology. Yes, it was a gripping match, and a fine run-chase, but nothing more than that. The opposition, lest the cheerleaders among us forget, was England, a mid-table team that couldn't even make the Super Six at the last two World Cups. Can you imagine the Australians releasing commemorative DVDs after beating such a piss-poor side? -From an article written by Mr. Dileep Premachandran, assistant editor of Wisden Cricinfo in India.

As Geoffrey Boycott, currently battling throat cancer, walked out for his England debut at Trent Bridge in 1964 wearing glasses before his conversion to contact lenses, Australia captain Bobby Simpson's advice to opening bowler Graham MacKenzie left little to interpretation. "Hey, Garth, look at this four-eyed f****r. He can't f**
***g bat, knock those f*****g glasses off him straight away," said Simpson.

And when David Steele, famously compared to a "bank clerk going to war" when he made his debut in the 1975 Lord's Test, emerged from the Long Room, he was greeted by that cultural attache for fast bowlers, Jeff Thomson, with the immortal line: "Who's this, then? Father f*****g Christmas?"

In modern times, Merv Hughes has been Australia's champion of the one-liner, although his repartee did not always go unanswered. Beating Robin Smith outside off-stump in 1989, he followed through, gave the Hampshire batsman a wild-eyed glare and growled: "You can't f*****g bat." Smith, on his way to a maiden Test hundred, cracked the next ball for four with a trademark rasping square cut and replied: "Hey, Merv, we make a right f*****g pair. I can't bat and you can't f*****g bowl."

Steve Waugh, playing and missing at Curtly Ambrose in the Caribbean, responded to the giant Antiguan's menacing stare by snapping: "What the f*** are you looking at?"

Another unnamed Aussie was not so fortunate after trying to wind up Sir Viv Richards in his own kingdom. Barging into the visitors' changing room on close of play, King Viv pinned his man against a wall without anyone daring to restrain him. "If you are going to call me a black bastard, how observant of you to notice that I am black," he snorted. "But do you have the documentation to prove I am a bastard?" Needless to say, Richards did not get another peep out of the offending chirper.

Viv Richards to Greg Thomas- Greg Thomas was bowling to Viv Richards in a county game. Viv missed a superb out swinger, and Thomas said, "It's red, round and weighs about 5 1/2 ounces." Next ball Viv hits Greg Thomas out of the ground and replies, "Greg, you know what it looks like. Go ahead and find it!"

'92 Ind-Aus series(3rd Test at Sidney) Ravi Shastri was batting and hit a shot which was well fielded by the 12th man whitney and started for a run. Whitney shouted on him, "Back to your crease else I'll break your head with my throw". Shastri calmly replied, "If you bowl as good as you field you would have been in the team and not the 12th man!" Incidentally, Shastri went on to make a 200 in that innings.

Aus Vs. South Africa (World Cup 99) "You have just dropped the World Cup, mate" - Steve Waugh to Hershelle Gibbs when he dropped Steve going for a premature celebration of a catch he hadn't grabbed properly .....

Daryll Cullinan was batting, attempting a comeback from a complete bamboozling from Warne in earlier games. Cullinan played the first ball from Chris Harris very carefully back down the pitch, and keeper Parore yelled out, "Well bowled Warnie!"

"Man, it don't matter where you come in to bat, the score is still zero." -Viv Richards to Sunil Gavaskar at Madras 1983.,


Australia fighting for a win nearing the end of a Test Match, Fred Trueman at the crease. The Aus captain has plenty of close in fielders, whose shadows fall on the wicket. Fiery finds this objectionable. "Ere, if you lads don't back off, I'll appeal for bad light!"

Fred Trueman bowling. The batsman edges and the ball goes to first slip, and right between Raman Subba Row's legs. Fred doesn't say a word. At the end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises sheepishly. "I should've kept my legs together, Fred". The reply is classic Trueman, "Not you, son. Your mother should've!"

Allan Donald playing in a county game for Warwickshire vs Northants: Having take a few of the Northants top order, Alan lamb was on strike, looking to come forward. Donald noticed this, and dropped a couple short. After the second one, Allan said "Lambie, if you want to drive, go hire a car". Next ball Donald pitched the ball right up. But Lamb was ready for it, and hit a beautiful cover drive straight to the boundary. "Go park that one", he drawled.

Then there's the wicket keeper who quietly asked the new batsman "So how's the wife, and my kids?"

England vs Australia, early '60s: Fred Trueman fielding close to the gate from the pavillion. As the new Aussie batsman came out to bat, he went to close the gate behind him as he walked onto the field. Trueman: "Don't bother shutting it son, you won't be out there long enough."

The famous spectator sledger, 'Yabba' of the SCG Hill: He had a deep booming voice which echoed throughout the ground when he let fly, and he became very well known for his performances. When the Yorkshire fielder dropped a catch in front of the Hill, Yabba cried out "I could have caught that one with my mouth", to which the fielder growled "Aye, if mine were as big as thine, so could I".

Douglas Jardine while fielding waved his hand to swat a fly away from his face, to which Yabba boomed "Don't swat those flies, Jardine, they're the only friends here you've got!"

NZ in Australia: Simon Doull, batting, edged a ball from Shane Warne for four. Warne commented to Doull "four years ago you would've missed that." Doull replied, "Yeah, but four years ago you were a better bowler!"

Fred is bowling at an exhibition match and notes that the next batsman is a real Colonel, complete with whiskers. The fielding captain immediately realises that this is close to a declaration of war for Fiery, and he requests Fiery please be diplomatic. Fiery says to the Colonel "Aye, I'll bowl thee a half volley first ball which tha can hit for four." The relieved Colonel says "Thanks, and the next one,Fred?" Replies Fred, "Ah, with the second ball, I'll knock tha bleedin' head off!"

Yet another Fred quote: "Women are for batsmen, beer is for bowlers. God help the all rounders!"

Substitutes in Cricket

This article appeared in a British newspaper when the new rules were announced

This was mentioned a month ago, but I never thought it would be agreed so quickly. It’s ridiculous, dumbs down Cricket and is merely pandering to the TV companies to make cricket “appear” more entertaining.

From the ICC:
The CEC also approved the introduction of soccer-style replacements which will permit sides to replace a player at any stage of a match. The replaced player will be ruled out of the rest of the match while the replacement will be entitled to assume any remaining batting or bowling duties. Both players will receive a cap.

So, let’s see. England win the toss and bat. It’s likely to swing a bit under lights, with dew in the air, so they reckon on getting a big total first up - so they bear that in mind. They initially choose 4 bowlers, plus their all-rounder - but stumble to 180 all out. They then realise they could do with some extra pace so, when they field, they drop their weakest fielder with Darren Gough who, whilst not a “strong” fielder, can bowl some pace. Is this roughly the idea? If so, then it’s crazy.

As Jonathan Agnew remarks “I really do not believe that we want to see a situation in which you have an Americanisation of international cricket with a ‘bowling team’ and a ‘batting team’.” And this is exactly what could happen. Part of Cricket’s appeal, or rather skill for the captains, is selection issues before a game. Do we go with the extra bowler this time? Do we stick with 5 batsmen? Our all-rounder has emptied the local Thresher’s and is singing “Is this the way to Amarillo?” from the balcony - who should we call in instead? All of this is, and should be, decided before the game starts.

I also disagree that any player who is substituted, or acts as a sub, should receive a cap. This happens in Rugby and, I’m sure, Football - players come on for 10 minutes and are awarded a cap for only performing for a much smaller percentage of the game than their team-mates.

No, sorry - don’t like it. It might - might - make it slightly more interesting as to who or when a player should be substituted for/with - but the public are being treated like cretins here. We’re quite happy with it as it is, thanks very much. We pay to watch 22 players play cricket (22, not 24) - to bat, bowl, field and sledge. We like yorkers, stumps flying, boundaries and beamers. We like Cricket because it’s not Football - the game doesn’t need any more fancy frills than it already has. 20/20 has proved a great success because, I think, the format (and change) is simple: shorten it. But adding this new dimension is change for change’s sake, and is pandering to TV giants’ thirsty wallets and short attention spans.
They’ll be playing in pajamas next, you know…

Aussie Aussie HOY HOY HOY

A response to all the "critics" of australian cricket,biased umpiring and the like.

Here we go mates!

If Australia only won at home, then all this ridiculous spouting might have some merit. However, they've beaten, and in some cases convincingly (clean sweep of Sri Lanka,India,South africa,England,Pakistan,Nz comes to mind) opposition on the home soil. No Australian umpires around.

So, what you're basically saying is that all the current umpiring panel, from all countries around the world are biased towards Australia. Yeah, sure. That's right. I don't know what you're smoking, but I'd like some.

The joy and appreciation of cricket should transcend the boundaries of geography and nationalistic fervor.

I can appreciate the genius of Lara and Tendulkar. The sublime bowling of Harmison,Bhajji,Pollock and Shane Bond( When he's fit) and KP smashing bowlers the world over.I love watching Dravid take it up to Australia and the belligerence of Shahid Afridi getting under the skin of all he plays against. I remember the devastation of Holding, Garner, Marshall and the swagger of Richards. I hold the Windies team of the 80's in the highest regards. Watching Kapil Dev destroy batting attacks and the flourish of David Gower. Mate I love cricket!

How could somebody be embarrassed to cheer on Gilchrist or Clarke and the way they play the game? The brilliance of Warne ? Simmo's superlative fileding,Watching McGrath bowl with unwavering line and length for over after over. The bouncing mullet of Dizzy after taking a wicket and Ponting pulling the short ball are all delights to watch. If you don't understand that many of these players are as great as any who have played then I'm sorry for you.

Now, who's the real "cricketfan" ? I love the game, and I love the way that Australia is playing it at the moment. And so should everybody who loves the game.
Have a look at cricket without the ridiculous nationalistic fervor that’s poisoned your watching of the game. Who knows, you might even learn to love the game, rather than just when "your team" is winning.

If England wins the Ashes, I'll be cheering long and hard for the way they play. It will be even better if it's a close result.
I do love my Aussies. However, as I've said a number of times before, the sport of cricket is more important to me.

Nothing you, or others like you will make me change that. It's sad how much joy you must be missing in the game when you resort to personal attacks on players, and your general ignorant statements just smacks of being whiney. Of course, the English, the Men in blue and the Pakis are paragons of the game (as are clearly the rest of the world from what I'm starting to understand) and it's only the Australian players that resort to any form of play that could be described as "just not cricket".

The Indian teams of yesteryear were perceived to be "soft". Time and everthing else have changed all that. In the recently concluded home series against Aus our good old
Punjab De Puttar "Bhajji" was screaming abuse at every Australian cricketer that set foot on the field. Retribution it seems is the order of the day. If that be the case does it make sense to stoop to their level? So there is no difference at the end of the day between the Aussies and any other team that plays the game today.

The Pakis have a history of cheating. Who can forget the infamous Indian tour of Pak in 1976 when our dressing rooms were bugged, when beamers were hurled at our tailenders ,the great sarfraz nawaz bowling wide after wide to prevent us from winning.Imran Khan Niazi confessed to using a bottle top on the cricket ball!
Have people forgotten all that? They also BTW have a history of churning out poor substandard umpires. India's tour of Pakistan in the early 90's Afridi was stumped off Rajesh Chauhan, by a distance when he could have been given run out. A coutry mile for crying out loud. What does the 3rd Ump rule. Not out! of course..

It's funny how people attacking me, and the Australian cricketers are full of bile and vitriol, and refuse to acknowledge that great cricketers do come from Oz.
That's ok. You're allowed to be whiney. I just feel pity for all you guys out there.

Culture curry for Greg Chapell

The Indian media, short on active cricket reporting for a while, and seemingly disturbed by the intervening ennui, has suddenly gone on over-active gear on India's new cricket coach Greg Chappell. Everyday, we are given large doses of Chappell's platitudes and wisdom words, which are given such magnified large meanings in tantalizing headlines, that even the Prime Minister's Office handling pubic relations will get a major complex.

Come on guys, aren't we getting abjectly desperate for those standard banal quotes from the over-hyped coach which would cure long suffering insomniacs by giving them a verbal comatose shot? Some national newspapers are busy digging up "inside stories" on the kind of toilet paper that Chappell will use whether he stays in a residential building or a five-star abode; really, who cares? The media is either too overawed by Chappell's past reputation (he does have excellent credentials) or else we are demonstrating a highly mediocre, servile and slavish mentality. Give the guy a break, and the public too!.

And characteristically, Sachin Tendulkar-bashing is the best way for a cricket writer or a former retired cricketer or any sundry Tom, Harry and Dick to get some TRPs and much-needed visibility. The latest entrant to the elite club is Kapil Dev, who has made some equally daring forecasting in predicting Sachin's imminent decline from his dizzying standards of the past, and promptly garnered precious front page news elbowing other news out with casual contempt. Which brings me to the main point of this brief piece -- that Greg Chappell, perhaps, needs to get a crash course on understanding Indian sensibilities and our native cultural traditions before his further pronouncements.

Chappell, I think, was clearly shooting wildly from the hip when he said that Virender Sehwag should be groomed for future captaincy, in fact, alluding that he is next in line after the beleaguered Prince of Kolkata. Rest assured, there are many who found the suggestion rather premature and unwarranted. If there is anyone who is likely to replace Ganguly, and who deserves to be the Indian skipper, it is undoubtedly the impregnable fortress-like run machine called Rahul Dravid. And I do not foresee Rahul hanging up his boots at least two years after the World Cup, based on his current form and renewed appetite for runs. I think Chappell's comments can weaken team cohesion instead of grouping them altogether.

I also maintain that Chappell's early prognostications on Tendulkar's career have not gone down well with the great master. Chappell is clearly making tactless errors and creating fissures in the team even before the conditioning camp has begun. His comment that Tendulkar's injury is more for him (Sachin) to worry about than Chappell himself, manifests that Chappell is a clinically steely and methodical coach going by hard numbers and harsh realities. Fair enough, but these traits may not work with the Indian team, coming as they do from diverse social and economic backgrounds, and who are a fairly sensitive lot. It shows that Chappell has not fathomed that he could be alienating Tendulkar and maybe others with his repeated media statements, which has made him into a household name much like mosquito repellent brands, even before India's first match under his stewardship. .

In the meantime, it maybe would be a good idea that Chappell takes a few lessons in understanding the Indian mind-set and community sentiments. It will help him. Perhaps, he has forgotten how Sunil Gavaskar had reacted to adverse Australian comments on-field after that dubious lbw decision when facing Denis Lillee. And maybe, it is an opportune time for Chappell to give a few hard-nosed real life lessons and pep talk to Ricky Ponting and his boys instead.

Jhakas

KRISH, JUST KISS!

The overall quality of TV commentary has drawn nationwide attention, frequently more than the game itself. Anyone and everyone is talking about it – all the time. Most of the TV commentators have risen from relative obscurity, but should be headed for oblivion, given the overall response across the country.

A snapshot on the principal characters :

1. MANDIRA BEDI

Mandira Bedi is the Official Cartoon of the channel with all and sundry cracking jokes at her expense. And she was supposed to bring the “family” in – whatever that means. But she is trying hard and the only word associated with her (given her sponsor announcement duty) is BOXER (well done, Bajaj). She does look pretty intimidating with her noodle-spaghetti or straw or whatever straps which amply demonstrate her Sardarni muscles. And despite her enthusiastic “Greggie,” she should stop pontificating on the game – it hurts when she starts getting analytical. It’s like Laloo Yadav commenting on the IT and software sector meltdown.

VERDICT: She’s “Vogue” on the outside, and vague on the inside.

2. CHARU SHARMA

Charu Sharma has to be given the prize for Poker Face of the Year, the way he valiantly holds proceedings without cracking up.

Charu’s “Dil Chahta Hai” haircut is unwittingly cute, but he is much more of an aggressive moderator (read: he interrupts people when they go off target with a straight-face) than the smiling friendly neighborhood Harsha Bhogle. Charu has been taking a more striking posture, as he is aware of the fact that Extraaa Innings is just that – Extra. Or shall we say Extra-Ordinary.

VERDICT: Charu Sharma is at his wit’s end – and it hasn’t taken him long to get there. And despite his haircut, he is doing a great job.

3. KAPIL DEV

Kapil Dev does not know whether “he is coming, or going.” With due respects to the great Jat, but he is exceedingly funny and a source of acute discomfiture with his newly found quixotic Scottish twang in his Haryanvi accent. While it is unfair to expect Kapil Dev to give a Dale Carnegie public speaking session, it is recommended that on TV he is not playing “gully” cricket.

VERDICT: Kapil Dev is supposed to overwhelm us. He underwhelms us.

4. RAVI SHASTRI

Ravi Shastri, makes his deep voice further baritone to stand out amongst the general mediocrity, but even he calls Ashish Nehra someone else, and believes the batsman is out, when action replay clearly shows otherwise. Ravi Shastri is a good commentator, but has become pompous and presumptuous. It shows in his judgmental attitude.

VERDICT: Let off more steam, than esteem.

5. KRISH SRIKANTH

Krishnamachari Srikanth has been seemingly restrained of late, but that’s perhaps because his moustache is coming in the way. Kris, should remember that when jabbering endlessly, he should take a pregnant pause, and then further ejaculate his pearls of faux pas. It’s KISS, (Keep It Short, Stupid) Krish. He should learn from Sidhu.

VERDICT: He is too busy learning the tricks of the trade, to learn the trade itself.

6. TONY GREIG

Tony Greig, called “Greggie” is the only one who is combining substance with occasional frivolousness.

VERDICT: Let’s have more of him, even if he is sometimes overbearing.

7. VENKATESH PRASAD

At least he speaks faster than he bowls! Unfortunately, although he bowled straight, his speech has a zigzag element to it.

VERDICT: No comments.

This clearly is not cricket

Mandira Bedi as moderator on Set Max adds unwanted, unneeded glamour to the biggest-ever cricketing extravaganza.

TO SAY that it amounts to trivialisation of television would be to imbue the medium with a dignity that it often does not deserve. Actually, it is a real pain to sit in front of the idiot box, now more fatuous than ever before. One look at Mandira Bedi on Set Max and you know that this lady, with due respect to her obvious charms, is where she is — ICC Cricket World Cup in South Africa — because she belongs to a particular gender. And hails from the entertainment industry.

No offence intended but she only brings an unwanted, undesired, unneeded glamour to cricket coverage. She adds misplaced sex appeal to some serious talk on cricket at the biggest-ever cricketing extravaganza. It is not a part of a larger, grander vision of bringing in women to the game, getting their inputs. If that had been the case, then the likes of Diana Eduljee, the highest wicket-taker in women's cricket, or Mithali Raaj, the highest scorer, would have been called upon to say their bit. Or maybe, we would have got some sound bytes from Anjum Chopra, the women's cricket team captain.

These women of accomplishment obviously lack in `style'. Hence, they are where they are — languishing on the sidelines — while Mandira hogs the limelight. Matters little that Mandira herself claims: 'My mandate is to bring in the women audiences.'

On the first day of the tournament, she came dressed in an off-shoulder costume that would have been just ideal for the Miss India pageant. The camera focussed on her top, almost but ignored her `attire'. The little girl sitting on my lap and watching her first World Cup cried out in all innocence: 'Shame, shame!' She obviously thought that the lady on TV had forgotten her clothes before she came on the screen.

Next day, Mandira Bedi was more traditional. And wore a sari. Only thing is the viewers were left wondering if her blouse was skin coloured. Or was there one at all? And in the Indo-Pak match, the lady wore a choker-like black something with a huge, deep cut. Just like she did in the Lanka-Windies match earlier where the right arm did not know what the left arm wore! Was it a Ritu Kumar creation? Whatever, it clearly was not cricket. And Mandira reminded many of us of those period costumes worn with such dignity by Raveena Tandon and company in "Agni Varsha" last year.

Probably, chastened with an angry viewer response, she played safe the next day during the Aussie-England encounter. Out came a blouse kissing her elbows and panting viewers wondered if she could breathe! No pun intended, no fun desired but this is the image the once-failed actress had cultivated in her first few days as cricket moderator.

Interestingly, while all the commentators, cricketers and other `experts' wore a Set Max-ICC Cricket World Cup logo on their heart, Mandira was the sole exception. Probably there was no apparel to tag the logo onto! Again, you cannot accuse the lady of wearing her preferences on her sleeve. It does not exist!

By the time she decided to end the suspense and get into an attire which would have met with approval for the family pages of a glamour rag, people were talking more about her cricketing knowledge (or the lack of it?) than her dresses.

Matters little that this time, her mega sleeve kissed her shoulders, teased her arms. The lady had done enough when she opened her mouth to detract all attention from her physical endowments. Speaking in an animated way that comes but naturally to the beginners or the gullible, she asked Barry Richards in all earnestness: "Holland scored 140-odd against England. They got 136 against India. Does it mean that our bowling attack is the same as that of England?" Obviously stumped with the sheer `innocence' of the query, all that Richards could say was: "No, not really. You cannot put the two together."

On another discussion, after India had beaten Zimbabwe to stay in the race for the Super Six, she beamed: "This is such a major victory". Clearly, the lady had not been told that Zimbabweans are all but minnows of the world cricket.

There was more. "We saw Zaheer Khan taking a splendid catch today. Can we say now we have three brilliant fielders in the Indian team... Zaheer with Yuvraj and Kaif?" This time before any of the seasoned panellists including the likes of Tony Greig, Venkatesh Prasad, Anshuman Gaekwad or Aamir Sohail, could say some-thing, Bedi's co-host Charu Sharma came to her rescue and saved us some blushes. "It is not done this way. Zaheer has taken a fine catch today but... ." Charu obviously knows a bit more about cricket than the lady he shares the screen space with.

A few minutes later, interjecting a fine discussion on the merits of Harbhajan Singh and Anil Kumble, she asked Greig and others: "Can we talk about Tendulkar? He batted so beautifully."

Little wonder, another day, Tony Greig, pointing to Mandira sitting alongside said: "This is getting nowhere... this one on my left."

Similarly, in another discussion to savour the joy of an Indian victory, Mandira Bedi decided to offer her `expert' and `exclusive' comments: "The Zimbabwe spinners came to bowl after our hard-hitters had already batted." This was her way to rationalise the fine showing of Zimbabwe slow bowlers. Again, it never dawned on her that Grant Flower clean-bowled Tendulkar and Murphy bowled well to the middle order, including Ganguly, Dravid, Yuvraj and Kaif.

In Mandira's terms, probably Indian batting starts and ends with Sehwag and Mongia, the first two wickets to fall in the said match.

With so many bloomers to go with her very Bollywood-like dress sense, the best Mandira could say was, "Please don't go away, we will be right back after a break." And smile, her upper lip well and truly dominating and caressing the lower one, a glint in her eye — she is probably as relieved as the viewers.

The best one can say about Mandira Bedi is that she has been a shade better than Ruby Bhatia who covered the mini world cup in Sri Lanka last September and made a major spectacle of herself.

However, irrational, immature comments she might have made, the fault is not Mandira's alone.

She might be the glorified extra in `Extraaa Innings' but actually the Set Max guys have reduced the World Cup to a gimmick. They have brought in astrologers, Tarot card readers and what have you to the studios.

Yes, we all want to know what the likes of Barry Richards or Sanjay Manjrekar have to say about the chances of the teams competing that day. But who wants to know what a sundry Tarot card reader feels about the prospects of South Africa or the West Indies.

In the fitness of things, barely a few hours after Maa Prem Rithambara had told the viewers that "there is no stopping South Africa today... they have the spirit, the drive and... .", the Calypso cricketers proved her wrong with a fine, if unexpected victory!

Just this Sunday, it was the turn of Nasser Hussain to prove her wrong. Minutes before the crucial match with Australia which England contrived to lose, Rithambara said: "There are chances of an upset today. The captain is likely to lead from the front. England will win not because Ponting and his boys will play badly but because England will play better." Well, England lost and we all know Hussain's dismissal off the third ball he faced and his blunder in bringing on rookie Anderson to bowl the penultimate over when experienced Caddick had another over to go. Captain leading from the front?

Even their battery of experts has many people who know almost everything there is to know about cricket but nothing about communication.

Many of them are not at ease with English, others quite conscious of speaking to millions of people. We have had Vinod Kambli saying, "My spinners is my two hands" and Sohail adding "Sachin have to play as an opener".

Not to forget Prasad who fumbles as often with his speech as he used to with the ball in the outfield.

Enough of this lightening up? What next? Isha Koppikar giving us exclusive bytes on the Union Budget? Or Lisa Ray moderating on the Iraq crisis?